I can't believe it. My oldest child - my only daughter - my Little Princess - is in Middle School. She has many new responsibilities now, like getting braces, changing classes, remembering her locker combination and applying deodorant more than once a week.
On top of all of this pressure, she's going to her first dance tonight. My husband and I did some soul-searching and decided that I would go with Ashley and be a chaperone. (I also won the best two out of three games playing Rock-Scissors-Paper.)
I don't think I have to worry too much, because she's more interested in catching lizards than catching boys. I reckon having three younger brothers spoiled her curiosity about the opposite sex. Even though she knows how disgusting, smelly, and rude they are at times, I know that peer pressure can make a girl do silly things. I will be the all-seeing, all-knowing parental presence at the dance.
Be afraid.
Of course, I don't want to drive her away from me, so the two of us sat down and made a list of no-nos.
Things she should NOT do:
*Go outside without me.
*Kiss, hold hands, or touch a boy - they have cooties. Kicking, pushing, and biting are OK (when needed).
*I mentioned that if she slow danced with a boy, I would be watching his hands and if they go anywhere they shouldn't, I'll be on him like flies on a pig.
The list of rules for me was a bit bigger.
Things I should NOT say in front of her friends:
*"Isn't it great that you can wear a REAL bra now?"
*"Which outfit for Barbie do you want this Christmas?"
*"See?! No one cares if I won't let you shave your legs yet."
*"Did you wash your hands after going potty?"
*"I better pick off the pepperoni on my pizza - it gives me gas."
*"Isn't he the one that eats his boogers?"
Things I should NOT do in front of her friends (or anyone else she knows or anyone that might remotely know her):
*Sing along loudly to the music - especially if I don't know the words.
*Dance, much less dance with any teacher (especially the principal).
*Make a kissy face any time a boy talks to her.
*Bring her brothers.
*Show her friends how to make whimsical music under their arms using a simple straw.
*Walk around with a video recorder and narrate, "Lookie! There's Mommy's Princess! Isn't she cute talking to her little friends?"
*Become introspective about my youth in the 70's and teach her friends how to do the Hustle and the Bump.
*Request the DJ to play "Cat Scratch Fever" or "Sir Duke" or "Copacabana."
And as an afterthought, she asked, "Mom, you're not going to write about this are you?"
**************************
Angela Gillaspie is a writer, programmer/analyst, and proud Southern WAHM Momma. When she's not in front of the computer, she's cooking, avoiding housework, or on a ball field as a volunteer coach. She lives in Alabama with her husband and four younguns. Visit Angela's web site at www.southernangel.com
