When I went to the grocery store to purchase an Easter egg dying kit
for my family, the shelves were packed with so many different kinds I
couldn't decide which one to buy. Sometime between my childhood and the
nineties, the egg dying process evolved from dropping a tablet into a
cup of vinegar and water into swirling, spinning, or speckling eggs
into Faberge recreations. I finally picked up the "Tie-dye" coloring kit
because the box had a picture of a smiling family decorating eggs and
the words "fast" and "easy" written in big letters along the bottom. I
tossed it into my cart.
The next day my children gathered around the kitchen table as I read
the directions:
Step one: Take contents out of box.
No problem.
Step Two: Cut string into eight inch pieces.
I couldn't find the ruler so I lined the string up against my shoe (a
size eight) and snipped.
Step Three: Wrap string around egg. Tie ends securely. Place in dye.
I wound the piece of string around the egg as artistically as I could
and lifted it to put in the dye. My children watched in horror as the
egg slid out of the string and cracked on the floor. I bet this didn't
happen to the family on the box. I picked up another egg, wrapped the
string around it and fastened the ends with tape. I held my breath,
leaned over, and slowly manuveured it towards the dye. My five-year old
daughter caught the egg as it sailed off the table.
"Mommy," she said, "you're not doing it right."
I found the second part of the directions stuck inside of the box.
Step four: Tie string by looping ends into two overhand square knots.
Then tie ends in opposite directions to create an underhanded triangle
knot or double both back over egg to create a decorative figure eight.
Place in dye.
When I finished reading I felt I had a better chance of weaving all
twelve eggs into a wall hanging for the living room than to wrap an
eight-inch string securely around one of them. I threw the kit away, put the
kids in the car, and went back to the store to purchase an easier kit.
This time I found the "Sponge Art" egg painting kit. I looked at the
smiling family on the box suspiciously, but the instructions looked
simple, and I used sponges everyday, so I tossed it in my cart.
When we returned home, I gathered my children around the kitchen table
and opened the box. I was relieved to find several small containers
of dye, one large sponge, and no hidden directions. I began to read:
Step one: Cut large sponge into eight squares.
I got my scissors and began to cut. I ended up with five large
rectangles.
Step Two: Dip sponge in dye and pat egg.
My son began to cry because he couldn't fit his sponge into the
container while my daughter used hers to apply the red dye to her cheeks and
lips. I quickly cut the rectangles in half and ended up with ten
smaller rectangles; exactly the right size to fit up my three-year old son's
nostrils.
By the time I found the tweezers and took the sponge out of my son's
nose, my daughter had eaten the eggs and wandered off to watch television
looking like a hooker.
The next day I went back to the store and grabbed the last box of
tablet dye off of the shelf and tossed a bottle of vinegar into my cart.
My children gathered around the kitchen table and helped plop the
colored tablets into the cups.
We watched them fizz and turn the water different colors. Then I
passed out the eggs and wire holders.
"I put my red egg in the blue dye and got purple, " my daughter said,
"Cool."
I found a white crayon in the coloring box and showed them how to draw
designs on the eggs before putting them in the dye.
When we were finished my children admired their creations: twelve eggs
in various shades of gray with tic-tac-toes and backwards letters --
the same ones I used to make as a child.
Maybe, just maybe, Easter eggs don't have to be sparkly or speckled to
be a work of art after all.
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Debbie Farmer is a syndicated parenting columnist and the author of "Don't Put Lipstick on the Cat!" (Hardback, 227 pgs.) available at bookstores, bn.com, or Amazon.com
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